On March 17th, I woke up at 6 am to an earthquake and totally panicked. Instead of running outside or getting in a doorway, my first thought was, “Am I wearing cute enough underwear in case firemen have to come rescue me?”My parents called and I assumed they wanted to see if I was OK, but my Dad said, “Earthquake? I was calling to see why our Skype isn’t working.”Thanks for caring, parents. Later that day I went to Nordstrom to make myself feel better by buying things. I hated everything I tried on. I also had a horrible case of PMS and couldn’t make decisions. I stopped by the beauty department on my way out and decided to get a Clarisonic. I’ve wanted one since forever, and thought it would be a great experiment to document.I bought the Mia 2 for $150. It came with gel cleanser, but I just use it with my normal Aveeno cleanser.
Here is what my face looked like before I used the Clarisonic. Despite taking Accutane four years ago, I still get breakouts on my jawline, and they’ve been getting progressively worse over the past year. Spironolactone is the only pill I know that helps with hormonal acne, but my prescription ran out months ago and I’ve just been too lazy to get a refill. I need to do that.
After I used the Clarisonic, my face felt unbelievably clean. I put on my Kiehl’s moisturizer and went to bed. My skin still looked disgusting, but it felt refreshed.
Day 3: March 19 My skin feels clean, but I don’t see any noticeable improvements. I’ve read reviews about the Clarisonic from women who said their skin got worse before it got better, so I’m not freaking out just yet about my zits still lingering. I had a callback for a Mike’s Hard Lemonade commercial where I had to watch a guy pretend to play a 6-pack of beer as a bagpipe. Yeah, I don’t know either. My skin wasn’t looking great. I didn’t book the job.
Day 4: March 20 I had to pack up my entire apartment myself because my roommate had to leave LA suddenly (it’s a long, messed-up story that I’ll tell eventually). I stayed up until 4 am putting our hundreds of bottles of hair and face products into boxes.My skin still looked the same.
Day 5: March 21 The movers arrived at 10 am to load all my stuff into a U-Haul. It barely fit. I wrapped my taxidermied deer head in a sheet and put it in the trunk of my car. It should be safe there. I hadn’t showered or slept in 3 days, so I was a disaster. I put my roommate’s cat and my cat in the U-Haul and drove up to my sister’s house in Mariposa.
I was dead by the time I arrived, and fell asleep before using the Clarisonic. The next day, I hopped on a train back to LA. It was about a 6-hour trip.
Day 7: March 23 My skin was breaking out like crazy from PMS. It always does, but this was bad. Could the Clarisonic be making my skin worse? UGH.Also, I was asked to do the monologue at UCB’s ASSSSCAT show that night. I told a few stories about peeing in my sleeping bag during Girl Scout camp and losing the History Quiz Bowl in 6th grade. It was really fun.
After that show, I was in another show — a live read of the Space Jam script. I met my two favorite basketball players DeAndre Jordan and Blake Griffin.
That night, I used the Clarisonic again. I wasn’t giving up, even though I was pretty sure it was ruining my life.
Day 10: March 26 New driver’s license photo day. I don’t mess around when it comes to ID photos, I take them very seriously (I’m a horrible person). Usually I get to see the photo to make sure I like it, but this time I didn’t. My photo was snapped and they shooed me out of there. It was my worst nightmare.I had to meet with directors about a potential music video, so I made sure to put on enough makeup to make myself not look like a pizza-faced monster. We talked about “Seinfeld” and how dumb LA is. I think they liked me.I still had to clean out my old apartment, so I drove over to Koreatown. As I was taking the trash out, I dropped a jar of apple butter on my neighbor’s porch. It shattered and went everywhere. I left it there. They were really bad neighbors.
Day 11: March 27 I got an email that I booked the Foster the People music video. I celebrated by going to the arcade to play NBA Jam. My skin looked worse than it had all year. I was hating life.
Day 12: March 28 I went to a wrestling match.
Day 13: March 29 I went to my Koreatown apartment for the last time to move my roommate’s car onto the street. The car wasn’t there. I called the landlord and he claimed to have no idea what happened. I called the police and concluded that it was stolen by the neighbors. Koreatown: 539 Melissa: 0. I then drove 5 hours to Mariposa again because my parents were visiting from Michigan.
Day 15: March 31 In Mariposa with my parents. My sister got Rosa Parks stamps and a 1970s diesel Mercedes from her boyfriend for her birthday. I contemplate leaving society to live in the middle of nowhere. I heard a cow mooing and I went outside to see this guy in my sister’s backyard:
Day 17: April 2 With my parents in Mariposa. My dad told me his favorite song was the “Happy Happy” song. I said, “You mean Pharrell?” He said, “Who?”
I had to drive back from Mariposa that night for the music video shoot in the morning. My skin was actually looking much better. I didn’t feel as insecure.
Day 18: April 3 Second day of music video shoot. The pounds of makeup help me look like a model again.
Day 20: April 5 It’s Saturday and I was sick with a cold. I watched “Dinosaurs” on Netflix and a documentary called “We Live In Public” about this man who basically predicted the Internet. I highly recommend it. My driver’s license came in the mail. I look angry in my photo.
Day 22: April 7 My skin was FINALLY improving. It took 3 weeks, but I was starting to see a huge difference.
Day 24: April 9 I read on xoVain that biotin could cause acne. I have a realization that that could be the culprit of my extra bad skin. I had just started taking biotin a little over a month ago to help with my nails and hair. I Google biotin and read a ton of people’s experience with getting breakouts from taking biotin. I stopped taking it immediately.That night, my basketball team The Pistol Shrimps had a game. We lost by 4 points.
Day 30: April 15 I flew to NYC. My skin gets really dry on airplanes so I put on a ton of moisturizer and drank gallons of water. I had no acne on my face for the first time in over a month and my skin felt amazingly great. I was also having some PMS (my periods are still every 3 weeks, am I dying?) but my skin hasn’t broken out at all, which is surprising. I took another photo and was really pleased with the results. (The right side of my jaw wasn’t as bad, so I was mainly focused on fixing the left side)
So, my thoughts on the Clairsonic:I’m still going to use it. After the first few weeks, I saw a huge improvement in my skin. I’m still not sure exactly what was causing me to break out before that. I’m going to ask my dermatologist about it when I see her in a few weeks. For now, my skin looks and feels much better. I’m crossing my fingers that it stays that way.