I talk about Accutane like it’s the second coming of Christ. I took this notably controversial drug from February to August of 2010. What it does is PERMANENTLY remove acne by reducing the amount of oil released by glands in your skin, which in time helps your skin cells renew faster. It’s basically a shitload of Vitamin A. If you take it while pregnant your child will have 7 arms apparently, meh, a minor hindrance. The doctor makes you sign a release form called iPledge that takes all responsibility off the manufacturer if you kill yourself, because it also causes severe depression. I had blood samples taken monthly to monitor toxins in my liver, that was fun. It’s intrinsically a last-resort treatment if everything else you’ve tried has failed. Well, I tried everything possible for 10 years and ultimately gave in. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was one of the best decisions I’ve made.
Before I took Accutane my agency in LA was constantly monitoring my skin for breakouts and wouldn’t send me on castings depending on my skin’s appearance. They pestered me to get on Accutane but I’ve heard awful things about it so I refused. I finally found cheap health insurance, saw a dermatologist who told me the negative reputation Accutane had was all bullshit, and within a week I was taking the devil pills. I was on 40mg daily, a fairly low dosage. The pills cost about $400 a month without insurance, insanely expensive. The second week of treatment my face looked like I was soaking my face in pizza nightly. Apparently this was the “purge cycle” where the bacteria gets pushed out from your face. Totally awesome. My lips were as dry as Cloris Leachman’s vagina and every hour I was applying aquaphor to them. If I even saw the sun my skin would burn instantly. My bones ached and I had headaches daily. I think my hair was falling out too. I cried a lot for no reason, so fun! I had an Australian fella named Jason who was a friend of a friend stay at my apt for a night while he was passing through. I kicked him out at 4am because his accent annoyed me and he left my coffee maker on. I punched a guy in the face at an LCD Soundsystem show because he called me a cunt for not selling my extra ticket to him.
It was all so worth it though! I’m not joking, it worked like a charm. My skin has been near perfect for over a year. I’ll occasionally get a small breakout every few months but it goes away within a day. Friends tell me I look like a completely different person from 2 years ago. The daily worrying about whether or not my skin is going to look like shit is gone. I couldn’t have asked for better results. I hope I don’t get cancer in 10 years though